It's kind of a random title for a post, but let me explain...
Like most of you out there, I've got a lot going on - parenthood, wifehood, business ownerhood, renovating my hood... There used to be a time not so very long ago when I could stay up till 3am working on a college project or hanging out with friends, but these days getting up once for a 3am baby-feeding almost kills me - yes, and you too Jeremy. :) You all know what I'm talking about...my 20s was all about going full blast through my day on 2 hours of sleep and a tub 'o caffiene product and feeling the adrenaline rush...now in my (late) 30s, 2 hours of sleep means I get to a red light in Downtown Dallas and wonder how and when I got there cause I don't remember the entire drive...OR if I remembered to brush my teeth and put on deodorant before I walked out the door! (And hopefully the garage door is closed too...hmmmmm) Makes me wonder what the heck my 40s are gonna be like?!
With each year and with each stage in my life or experience I've encountered...I've changed. I've always been a cautious person; look both ways, check my mirrors, etc., but some things I've become less cautious about in life. Like what people think about me or speaking my mind or being more blogger-transparent. However, in some ways I've changed for the worse...like self-confidence. OK - this is not going to be a pity party, just a confession. Whenever you start something new and things aren't moving as quickly as you think they should...you start to think..."Hmmmmm, what's wrong with me?", "I must be doing something wrong.", "I thought I was more likeable." At least I do. Your confidence takes little hits here and there until pretty soon you realize you've got quite a lot of self-inflicted, Dana-sized, self-image dents.
That's where I am. I'm SO patient when shooting little bitty babies that won't sleep when those brand new parents want them to or with those adorable 2 year olds that have a hard time opening up because of their ingrained 'stranger-danger' phase...but I am so IMpatient when it comes to my own life! Good grief; I need to give myself a break!
So over the last week I really started to think about the word 'confidence'. What can I do to NOT let others, technology or situations intimidate me. After all, I'm really a pretty outgoing and funny person. Those who come in contact with me generally know in 5 minutes the true me - you can read it all over me in permanent marker so my mom says...AND that I like to laugh, joke, cut up...and yes, sometimes cry easily. So I think it all boils down to this stage in my life of starting a new business and being in a spot where I really haven't been before - unsure of myself as a professional and where exactly this road will take me. I know there are fellow photographers out there who know TONS more than me on the technology front, all the jargon and lingo, all of the connections and all about the best products and vendors. BUT, not all of them are me. I have alot to offer too - like a talent for seeing great images of people, families and kids and making them happen! I'm not successful 100% of the time, but I'm OK with that.
I saw a question this week on another blog: How much talent do you think has been wasted from a lack of confidence?
Dude! Good question! If it is something you feel you have the talent for; if it is something you really want to do; if it is something that makes you happy all the way down to your toes; if you feel it is your passion...why are you letting foolish ideas about yourself get in the way?!
One day my husband told me, ”I looked back at some of your images when you first got started and...blah, blah, blah...You’re a lot better now.”
Well, at first I was offended...you know, sometimes boys don’t express themselves well to hormonally induced, post-pardom, sleep-deprived mamas. So one day, in my secret place, accompanied by a large amount of chocolate and Dr Pepper to feed my sorrow...I discovered he was right! And it was a GOOD thing! It meant I had grown, learned and changed...for the better! I'm still learning every day. And when I make mistakes or don't quite get the picture I saw in my noggin...I give myself a break, chat up the mistake, try again and learn from it in the process. OK - maybe it's not that Dr. Phil-like for me ALL the time, and maybe I kick myself in the tukis a few times, but I know God gave me an eye for making people happy with my camera, and it's up to me to remember that God will bless me if I honor Him with my words and actions, trust Him with my business, give Him praise for the failures AND successes, and learn everything I can at this particular stage in my life...cause before you know it, this stage will be over and I'll be 40! CRUD...:)
So what's holding you back? I know what's held ME back...but tomorrow is another day!
And here's my beautiful Emma at her almost 4 year old, fighting the cheesy fake smile stage in life. We finally got past cheese and she gave me her best FIERCE...rawr!! Is she not the prettiest little girl you ever laid your peepers on?!
1 comment:
Great great great great post, Dana! Know that we think you and what you do are wonderful! You have such talent! :)
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